In class last Tuesday, several people shared the common viewpoint that talking about racism acts as one of the first steps in working towards racial equality. In addition to expressing this perspective, many people also discussed the difficulty of conversing about racism. I thought about and came across this conflict of interest – the need to discuss racism in order to overcome it despite the difficulty of the topic – a couple times throughout the week. The first encounter occurred while doing the taping assignment for this class. Although I was sitting in a private room, talking to only the computer and myself about my experiences with and thoughts about racism, I still consciously used the “proper” names for different racial groups to avoid offending anyone. When growing up, my parents taught me to use the appropriate and polite names, African American and Caucasian, whenever referencing a person’s race. I found myself using these terms deliberately throughout my entire taping assignment, despite that fact that black, white and people of color are commonly accepted, because I felt uncomfortable saying a name that might offend someone. Although I think that being cognizant and sensitive of others’ viewpoints is important when discussing racism, I was still struck by how careful and uncomfortable I felt when discussing racial issues in a closed room with a computer. Later in the week while eating dinner with a friend, I encountered the difficulty of discussing racism once again when I brought up the topic randomly. She was talking about an unfortunate picture that her friend posted on facebook, and she described the photograph as “blackmail.” I told her that I read about how “blackmail” contains a derogatory racial reference that I failed to notice until the past week. My friend clearly felt uncomfortable discussing the racial issue in the cafeteria, and we quickly switched the subject. These two experiences in the last couple of weeks have helped me to realize how racism continues to covertly function in society in simple, yet influential ways, and how I remained oblivious to its execution for twenty years.

It has only been a week since the beginning of my Psychology of Racism class, and I am astonished how much I have learned in the past seven days. I grew up in a liberal and tolerant family that stressed the importance of accepting others regardless of physical, ideological, social and cultural differences. Resulting from this upbringing, I have considered myself nonjudgmental towards others, but I realized this past week that no amount of open-mindedness in my household changes the fact that without knowledgeable intent I benefited many times from my status as a white female. In the Uprooting Racism text by Paul Kivel, he included a “white benefits checklist” that detailed several advantages of belonging to the dominant racial group in the United States. This checklist revolutionized my perspective on how racism has undeservedly benefited my family and self. My grandfather received his master degree in Economics because of benefits related to the G.I. bill which denied many people of color veteran’s benefits. He subsequently worked in the agricultural department for the government, an occupation that provided a considerable pension which helped significantly with paying my college tuition. I attended a well-funded school in the suburbs of Minneapolis with teachers and counselors who encouraged me to continue with education. I grew up in secure and police-protected neighborhood with reliable access to quality medical services. I see people of my race represented extensively in many forms of media. This list, which hardly encompasses all of the advantages I have received through white privilege, made me realize how oblivious I have been in recognizing my how racism impacts (and benefits) me personally.